Which way is up?

Posted on October 28, 2015 by I <3 Nix

My stomach is in knots. I do not want to feel like this. Usually when you get a "we need to talk" you have the talk pretty soon after. Seems cruel to let it drag on. But this is the situation I find myself in. Playing the waiting game.

I don't want it to be over but if that's the way its got to be then I'd rather know now. Get it over with. Let me grieve properly. As it stands I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. How do I feel? Anxious. Nauseous. Confused. Mostly I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.

You go round telling you're friends the reasons you want this to end. I wish you would share this with me. I deserve the truth. I'm the one who matters.

This is why I don't do relationships. Well, this and a few other reasons (according to my mother it's coz I drink too much, I swear too much and I need additional hobbies). I believe it's partly coz guys can't handle my awesomeness but that's another story.

I hate not being in control of my emotions. My head is all over the place, my heart is the same. I don't know what to think or to feel. I don't know if I should cry or save my tears for another day.

Why does love do this to me?!

I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOW.

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about 16 years
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