13 Reasons why Wellington isn't shitter than Perth.

Posted on March 14, 2015 by patrick478

From the football to the fauna, we've put together our best 13 reasons our Wellington isn't shitter than Perth.

1. OUR FOOTBALL TEAM IS JUST AS BAD. 

Phoenix and Glory have faced each other 25 times, with 10 wins each and just 5 draws. The only team that the Nix have a better record against is the woeful Newcastle Jets.

2. WELLINGTON'S WEATHER > PERTH'S WEATHER. 

Wellington isn't subjected to temperatures that put the safety of the players and supporters in danger. Nobody wants to play football in 40 degree heat, whereas 20 degrees is perfect to play in.

3. THERE'S STILL QUITE A BIT GOING ON IN WELLINGTON. 

Only one city out of Perth and Wellington got named the "coolest little capital in the world" by Lonely Planet. And despite our size, we make awesome movies out at Weta in Miramar. What was the last movie that was made in Perth?

4. NOBODY STOLE ANYONE'S COLOURS. 

Perth's state colours were set in 1870 when their state flag was designed by Frederick Weld with a yellow and black swan. The Wellington Rugby Football Union was founded in 1879, and has played in yellow and black ever since. In fact, if you count the number of years it took to adopt the colours after British colonisation occurred, it took Wellington 18 fewer years to choose yellow and black.

5. WE'RE NOT AUSSIES. 

Whether you're a football, rugby, cricket or a netball fan, it always feels great when our tiny nation is better than the convict colony. Our rugby team is number 1 in the world and current World Champions, and our cricket team just won Pool A in the Cricket World Cup with a perfect record, including a win over Australia. And our football team has earned just one less point at the 2010 and 2014 FIFA World Cups than Australia, even though we only played in one of them. 

6. OUR ACTIVE SUPPORT IS AWESOME. 

Nothing beats seeing the Yellow Fever taking their shirts off in the 80th minute to celebrate yet another victory for the mighty Phoenix. Actually, maybe hearing the Glory supporter's yell out "YOU'RE SHIT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" for the umpteenth time in a match does. Maybe not.

7. NOTHING CAN EVER MATCH OUR STOKE'S VALLEY. 

Or our Cannon's Creek. Or Vivian St. Or the Bucket Fountain. Or Courtney Central Foodcourt. Get the point yet?

8. HOW ABOUT SUNRISE OVER THE PACIFIC OCEAN? 

Unlike Australia, we haven't ditched our Oceanic friends in the Pacific. We love them.

9. THERE ARE COUNTLESS SUCCESSFUL WELLINGTONIANS. 

Russell Crowe. Karl Urban. Flight of the Conchords.  Taika Waititi. Peter Jackson. Rayon Kan. Sam Worthington. Anna Paquin. Wynton Rufer. Ben Lummis. Leo Bertos.  We could go on and on and on.

10. THEIR MAIN CELEB ACTOR IDENTIFIES AS A CRIMINAL. 

Russell Crowe once got arrested and charged for using a telephone as a weapon. If he had used his Kiwi ingenuity, he would have at least thought to use something that is actually a weapon, like an ironing board.

11. BIGGER ISN'T ALWAYS BETTER. 

Western Australia may have a larger land mass than New Zealand, but most of it is taken up by the remote and arid area called 'The Outback', which can barely sustain human life due to the lack of water.

12. OUR FAUNA WON'T KILL YOU. 

When was the last time you heard about a Kiwi mauling someone to death? Or a Pukeko eating someones baby? Or a person being killed after being bitten by a daddy-long-legs?

13. WE GET TO WATCH THE GLORY VS. PHOENIX GAME AT 11.45PM. 

It'll be nearly 2am by the time the final whistle is blown by referee Chris Beath, so it'll just be a short walk from Four Kings to the (sure to be amping) Electric Ave to start cutting some shapes. It'll be great fun celebrating the Phoenix stealing top spot away from Perth for the second time in two weeks.

Comments

Listen here Fudgeface
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Listen here Fudgeface
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Fudgeing autocorrect being a cod.

Listen here Fudgeface
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If you don't understand the context of the title, have a read of this on Perth's website first.

http://www.perthglory.com.au/article/13-reasons-perth-is-better-than-wellington/1nbbxu9ps7ux616tzux02fkyji

LG
Legend
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patrick478 wrote:

If you don't understand the context of the title, have a read of this on Perth's website first.

http://www.perthglory.com.au/article/13-reasons-p...

One of them cant be "Because we're top of the League" and Wellington are second - Well not any more at this stage.

Hidden by el grapadura April 14, 2020 22:26
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Legend
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I know this is a hidden post bump, but 'Rayon Kan'?

Listen here Fudgeface
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martinb wrote:

I know this is a hidden post bump, but 'Rayon Kan'?

Up there with Peter Jackson (?) and Sam Worthington (?). 
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