Right, I think I have got this.
360-odd days of the year if I ask for something to be done, or this case not done, and it happens anyway, I have the right to be irate.
On days, such as Christmas, Birthdays, Easter, Valentines etc this rule does not apply?
So I have to suck it up even though my specific request when asked about what might like for my birthday was "no presents and no fuss" in order not to hurt the feelings of someone who quite clearly didnt follow instruction?
Yes, this seems about right! Giving presents to loved ones on such occasions is quite ingrained for many people usually from childhood or just society in general. For many people, giving presents can be more enjoyable than receiving presents. In a way it can actually be a bit selfish to refuse someone the opportunity to be able to give if they want to.
Also you are partly stitched up here by the people who say they don't want a present out of some sort of politeness/modesty, when they actually do want a present and get disappointed if their request is granted. People learn from that not to heed such instructions.
Valentine's Day I see as a bit different from the main ones... I'd often rather do nothing, but generally compromise by suggesting how about we can do something but 'keep it low key'.
